SACRIFICING FOR YOUR SPOUSE

A lot of the arguments that happen in marriages are often caused by a lack of sacrifice for the other spouse. In his book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard talks about the importance of sacrifice in marriage. When describing mortal marriage, he says, “No partner on the face of the earth can meet all our needs. In mortality, we will live with disappointment. We can dwell on our discontent or we can celebrate the points of connection.” I really took this quote to heart. I can get upset at my husband for leaving his clothes on the floor, start an argument, and allow the spirit to leave our home, OR I can just pick up his clothes and nicely remind him to take care of them next time. It may require extra work on my part, but that is sacrifice, and it is necessary in marriage.

I play in the Symphony Orchestra with BYU-Idaho and I have many concerts throughout the semester. My sweet husband, who doesn’t always enjoy classical music, sacrifices his time to come support me. He is such a good example to me of someone who sacrifices for their spouse. He’s only sacrificing his time, but it means a lot to me, and shows me his love for me. It makes me feel more like I can sacrifice for him too.

Goddard quotes Kent Brooks and says, “Brother Kent Brooks of the BYU faculty of Church History and Doctrine observed: ‘Our capacity to love a spouse deeply and our ability to experience great joy in marriage are commensurate with the degree to which we are willing to suffer and hurt, to labor and toil, and to persevere through moments of unhappiness, stress, disappointment, and tests of our patience and love for our partners.’” I LOVE this quote! In the past, when one of my siblings was sick or going through a rough time, I would feel bad for them, tell them to get better, but I never put a crazy amount of effort into their issue. When my husband is sick or going through a rough time, I put that before anything else I have to do. I take care of him and help lift his spirits. I want him to know that I am there for him. My husband has treated me this way as well, and not only does it show our sacrifice for each other, but I believe it brings us closer together in our relationship.

Sacrificing and giving in our marriages, shows our love for our spouse. It helps us grow in our relationships. Goddard says, “Rather than carefully tracking every investment in our marriage, we give gladly and wholeheartedly. We give everything we have and are. And we ask God to increase our capacity so we can give yet more.”