Elder Ballard said, “I have had enough experience to know the value of councils. Hardly a day passes but that I see the wisdom, God’s wisdom, in creating councils… to govern his Kingdom. IN the spirit under with we labor, men can get together with seemingly divergent views and fair different backgrounds, and together they can arrive at an accord, and that accord… represents the wisdom of the council, acting under the Spirit.” Councils are clearly, very important in the church. They help with a lot of the decisions that have to be made, and they bring the spirit together.
Growing up, my family had “family councils” ALL the time. I remember often feeling annoyed by these frequent family councils, and dreaded when I’d hear my dad shout, “Kids, come to the living room for a family council!” I have five younger siblings, so we would often get in arguments, we wouldn’t obey our parents, we wouldn’t help my mom in the kitchen enough, we spent too much time playing games, watching tv, etc. and my dad used these family councils to help us understand that our behavior was wrong and that we needed to change. He always went about the discussion nicely, and he would share some of his own stories growing up. Sometimes for family councils, he would even pull out a white board and draw diagrams for us in order to get the point across. As my siblings and I got older, family councils didn’t happen nearly as often, but I look back on my childhood and I am grateful to my parents, specifically my dad, for holding those dreaded family councils. The councils helped us to stay on the right track, and helped us come to agreeing about what we should be doing differently.
This ties into marriage, because I truly believe that husbands and wives need to make decisions together and a wonderful way to do that, is by having a council. Rather than calling it a “Family Council,” it could be called a “Couple Council.” This council could be for couples to discuss what they can do better in their marriage, what they can do better as parents, or discuss what they are doing well together. It is important to be unified in the decisions made, or the topics discussed. President Gordon B. Hinckley has taught: “In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are coequals.” Dr. Richard B. Miller said, “In your family when there is a decision to be made that affects everyone, you and your wife together will seek whatever counsel you might need and together you will prayerfully come to a unified decision.” I believe that holding “Couple Councils” are more important than holding “Family Councils” because as long as the husband and wife are making decisions together and are agreeing together, then the foundation will be sturdy enough to bring the rest of the family into the discussion.
Attached is a short video from Elder Ballard about councils in a family.