Serving your Spouse

I have always understood that fondness and admiration are important in a marriage, but I don’t think I realized just how important it actually is. Dr John M. Gottman talks about different ways to show your admiration to your spouse. In his book, he talks about how sometimes when he tells couples to tell each other what they love about each other, they respond by telling him that it’s “phony” to do that. This especially stood out to me because my husband is so cheesy to me all the time, but I absolutely love it! If he falls on the ice or even just loses his balance, he always says things like, “Oh! I’m falling for you babe!” I think it is so cute, and it’s constantly showing me how he feels about me. I think it is so interesting that some couples don’t want to be “phony” or “cheesy” in front of their spouse. I personally feel like your spouse sees your worst and your best, so why can’t you show them your silly and goofy side too?

I also really enjoyed reading a chapter from a book about marriage this week. In his book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard says, “Many of us find it easier to minister to the stranger than to the family member. Unexpected service to the stranger is often warmly appreciated. Service to family is expected and often goes unappreciated.” I’ve noticed this in my own marriage. There have been several times when my husband hadn’t thanked me for something I’d done for him, or something that just needed to be done in general. At first, this really upset me, but I found that if I was better about expressing my gratitude to him, he was better about expressing his gratitude to me. This helped both of us become more grateful, and it made serving the other person easier.

I feel that gratitude and admiration go together because if we want to show our fondness and admiration to our spouse, we have to serve them. Serving someone is a way that you can show that you love them. I love it when my husband gets up earlier in the morning than he has to, because he wants to make me breakfast before I leave. This is definitely his way of serving me, but it also lets me know how much he loves me each and every day. The acts of service don’t always have to be big. The small things are what matter the most!

It's totally okay and super fun to be cheesy and goofy with your spouse!